Just hit me with it. If you have something to say don’t dance around the subject. Just come out with it. Look me in the eye, don’t mince words, and let me have it.
Confront me. I don’t need to be “talked to” about it. I live in an age where sexual temptation and sexual sin is all up in my business. But no one is in my face calling me out to flee it, fight it, fess it, and repent of it. So come with it. Hurt my feelings and tick me off. I need it.
It’s time for men to be men. We need repentant men who are repeat champions over sexual sin. And we need these men to grab others by the collar, look them in the eye, call their sin out, and demand they not ruin their life.
And I’m not talking accountability. Accountability is often overstressed and overrated. Think about it: A couple of guys chat over coffee and dreadfully approach the topic of, say, porn. Following then is the most common response in all of Christendom: “I’m still struggling.”
That little phrase is ultimately a cop out, particularly on the heels of weeks of accountability. Where’s the dude who’ll say, “What do you mean you’re still struggling? Quit being a pervert. Be a freakin’ man. Tell me three things you are going to do this week to flee it and fight it? And do not just say ‘pray.’ “
Porn and other sexual sin will ruin a man’s Christian testimony, mind, relationships, and indeed his whole life. If that doesn’t warrant getting in a guy’s face to save him from himself then what will? “The wounds of a friend can be trusted,” says Solomon (Proverbs 27:6).
When I was a college basketball player I can vividly remember my coach in my face with his finger in my chest calling out my mistakes, my laziness, my lack of execution, and my excuses. He’d have my full attention. I’d then be resolved to carry out his instruction. My motivation was a mix of obedience, fear, and passion to succeed. He was pushing me to compete at a level above my potential. I guarantee that if he only took me out for coffee, listened with gentle nodding and understanding as I rambled about my “struggling,” and then placed his hand on my shoulder and prayed for me, I would not have achieved anything. Sometimes, it takes “man-talk” to get the attention of man’s mind and heart. When it comes to sexual sin I want to, no, I need to be talked to like a man, not a puppy.
The heart is the main issue, no doubt. But to just pray with and encourage the man who continues in his sinful “I’m still struggling” pattern will not cut it. He doesn’t need a hug. He needs to be shaken. He doesn’t need a pat on the back. He needs a finger in the chest.
Where are these men?
If you would like to learn more about how to wage war against pornography and other types of sexual sin, my new book, 13 Ways To Ruin Your Life, is now available for free download at www.13waystoruinyourlife.com.